Fantasy Football #2

HELLLLOOOOOOOO WORLD

Welcome to the second edition of the the CompaBowl. Some surprising events have arose. Who will have to get the Four Loko Keg? Who will goodelob beat next? Why are all of the first round picks sucking major farts out of non-existent asses? Why does RN11 reject all good trades? Read and find out!

Wow. Just wow. 6/8 people in this group are 3-3. Something is not good. NO ONE HERE KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. Y'all need to pick up the slack. Let's start by actually making an effort towards our team. Relax people, there will be one true winner and that will be the person doing keg stands while the Compas hold them up. You will be in good, strong, masculine hands, aka everyone's but Sergio's. 

Goodelong (3-3) - "How am I winning, I drafted three kickers."
Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. How did this happen? Frogba is 3-2? He's tied for 1st place. Your team has vastly improved, well only by their record. You have had a few good weeks, I'll give you that Compa. I was not expecting that. Well if this winning trend continues there will be come seerrrrrriousssssss upsets coming into your future. I really hope that this was a fluke. I want you to end up getting this Four Loko Keg. I really do. Compa, it would be a gift for yourself. Sabotage your squad so you end up having to buy this keg Compa.
Rate: Pending Danger
Don't get your hopes up Compa, your squad is not build to last very long.

Enpiqueta (4-2) - "My benched players show up more than my players in my line up, huuuuuuh"
Woah, remember when you thought you were a fantasy hotshot? Well wake up idiot. This is not how you win. Your RB's are killing it for you. Poor choice in your QB though ehh? Stop thinking with your gut and use your big ass head. 
Rate: You're trash but you aren't in any danger, for now......

Rudnalfo (3-3) - "Nothing is going my way. Maybe I'm too loyal (no such thing) to my Vikings."
Congrats! you finally got a decent win. Your players showed up. Y O U A R E L E A R N I N G. Good boy. Your team won't stand tall very long though. You should consider making some changers aka trades. Please compa you don't need 12 WR's. You need another solid RB; consider a trade. Compa, fix your situation at QB, tell him to rub some dirt on it.
Rate: Danger. You're week to week. So don't keep your nose up in the air.

Balito (2-4) - "I'm on vacation but I can still snap/insta but my lineup is being neglected." Outstanding. I appreciate that you would go on vacation from the streets but you completely abandoned your team. Compa, how did you lose this week? Lermano didn't even set up his team. His bench outscored his players in his lineup. You need to chill with the calles and actually do something productive compa.
Rate: You should write a check for that 4 Loko Keg.

Sesho (3-3) - "Fantasy football has taken over my life and I have began to neglect my Pledge duties and my job." (Just the)Tip for this week, consider getting another RB or a true #2 WR. You can turn your season around, just grab bablo's phone and trade all his good players to your team. Help your brother out. It seems like both of you guys will be fighting to buy this legendary keg.
Rate: RED. DANGER. ROJO. DANGER. Make sure you score that job so you can assist your brother with purchasing that keg. 

Chest (3-3) - "I don't need any advice for Fantasy Football, I will win either way."
You lost to Enpique twice in one week. How. Learn to play fantasy football, you're making your opponents look way better than they actually are. Compa, don't be arrogant. Football is a game of wits, i dunno where you will find some wits but here is a tip, make changes, take chances and make mistakes. Yes that is a magic school bus reference. Deal with it. 
Tip: Slight danger, see you in the finals. 

Lermano (3-3) - "I'm too busy being a good husband/Compa/trabajador (respect) to edit my lineup."
Wow, your bench players went off. The fact that you didn't even play a QB and won was a sheer mystery. Well, it was, until I saw you played Bablo this week. Wow. You are a fantasy guru. Teach us compa. Tell us how to win with no effort. You're better off not doing anything for the rest of the season and winning games. 
Rate: Fix your line up and you're chillin', slight danger.

Krustnaldo (3-3) - "I like to take a shot for every point difference between me and my opponent.... I can't wait to play Goose." Compa, I know that you like to set up your lineup when you're pedas, but you need to chill. You got very lucky against La Rama, this week but you will be facing some still competition this week. Keep up the good work. I want to see you in the finals compa. 
Rate: Slight danger.