Wednesday, October 4, 2017

WASCO FIGHT

WASCO FIGHT

The fight itself isn't as important as what happened afterwords. 

We were told to "Get on the line" and "you're running until I can think of something better to do for your dumbass's." 

No mames we ran to the fence and back at least hella times. Would much rather do super happies. 

Anyways.. We ran for a cool 30 minutes, wind-sprints it sucked. We had a pretty hefty RB and a pretty out of shape TE. So they naturally were dead. We had a little team huddle and the TE was limping and saying "owe owe owe" and having trouble breathing. Nothing alarming. The RB (super athletic gifted with talent most of us wish we had) was GASSSED. We had a little gay team huddle and all I heard was Darth Vader's breathing and see that our RB is gasping for air. 

It was quiet. No one had said anything for what seemed like an eternity. Then is said "Yo M@$^!* you alright?" and immediately hear Alexis A. snicker and I could not contain myself.  M@$^!* then told me to shut up and that it wasn't fun he couldn't breath so that naturally made it ten times worse.


Anyways.....I can't remember if this was before or after the whole 'you alright' thing, but this is added last because it is 10x funnier.
So we were in the lockerroom getting CHEWbacca'ed out by our coach [He was a Star Wars nerd so hence the references]. 

I shit you not. he. ripped. his. shirt. Or tried to at least. He was done yelling at us and we were already bummed about what had happened and shit and this fool kept yelling. He threw his shirt viciously onto the ground and at that point, I lost my shit. I was sitting next to Levi 'stud10'. 

Coach ripped his shirt and all you saw was a belly full of hair and sweat. It was nasssssyyyauuuuyy. Grandpabod. I could hardly contain myself. I had to look away. Every bit of disappointment I had prior to that was gone. I needed to laugh so bad. It was so damn funny. My stomach hurt from holding in that great ass laugh. I looked over and I saw Levi 'pies de caballo' turn red. All the blood was in his face. He could not contain himself either. This made me DIE. I was at the brink of losing my shit but coach left. As soon as we left We let out a great ass laugh.

Oh man. It gets better. Coach comes back with a small shirt that could not be bigger than a size shhhhmedium. He looked like an old fat white bald,

Ezekiel Elliot. Man this was the the third time this night that I was left gasping for air. He left and immediately Levi and I burst into legendary tears. 

Message of the day, don't be out of shape and don't be around Levi in serious situations. 


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